


Three, Two, One, Zer0

by click_to_enlarge



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Zer0 (Borderlands), Bad things happen to poor Zer0, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, I might post art, Mordecai/ Brick is not the central relationship, Other, Sorry Zer0, They/Them Pronouns for Zer0 (Borderlands), This might take forever to update, Trans Mordecai (Borderlands), Very minor blood drinking, Zer0 in haiku, Zer0 is a dramatic alien diva, eeeeeeee, i honestly probably will mention it only once or twice and i isnt really drinking, its more of zero being a weird predatory hunter, this is a fic about Zer0
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:48:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/click_to_enlarge/pseuds/click_to_enlarge
Summary: Zer0 isn't feeling well, they are tired, their head is pounding under the bright sun of Pandora, and their patience is thin. When their drunken vault hunter friends cross some important boundaries, Zer0's exhaustion and sickly feelings catch up to them and they decide to spend some time alone, away from the others, and maybe brutally dismembering various bandits. Well, all goes well until whatever is going on with their stupid, mortal body catches up to them and they make a mistake. Sorry Zer0 <3
Relationships: Brick/Mordecai (Borderlands), Rhys/Zer0 (Borderlands), Zer0/Rhys, Zer0/marauders, Zer0/psychos
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. Hostile

**Author's Note:**

> I pretty much post as I write so there may be grammatical errors and spelling. If something doesn't make sense or is really bad, let me know, otherwise, there isn't really a need to point out really minor typos :) thank you and I hope you enjoyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Zer0 gritted their teeth behind the protective cover of their helmet. The normally endearing, chatter of the other vault hunters had Zer0 ready to pull out any hair they might have had. 

The team of vault hunters sat in a poorly-illuminated, dining hall of sorts. And while Zer0 was thankful for the brief respite from the unbearably bright Pandora sun, the combination of music blasting over crummy speakers. and the crescendo of their friends voices grated on Zer0s mood and encouraged the alien to sink further down in the booth. They stretched their four fingered hands and gripped the edge of the table, examining the chips in the varnish and picking at remnants of who knows what stuck to the table, with gloved fingers. When multicolored mystery stains finally bored them, they began to quietly scan the bar with tired eyes, looking for any excuse to leave. With a start ,however, Zer0 was shaken out of their stupor by a particularly loud shout by one of their teammates-they weren't paying enough attention to know who- in an attempt to involve Zer0 in whatever mundane shouting match the rest of the vault hunters were so invested in.

"So what do you think about him, Zer0?" Gaige all but screamed across the small table into Zer0s masked, frowning face. 

>:[ flashed across Zer0’s helmet before they could stifle their scowl, earning another round of howling laughter from their intoxicated friends.

“He… he is cute, Zer0, c’mon buddy, don’t you *hic* think he is at least cuuuuttteeee?” Maya drawled, half laying across the sticky bar table, hands trying in vain to grab at the tight, rough material of Zer0’s suit. 

“I do not know what; nor wish to know whom you all; are rambling about” Zer0 snarked, batting her hands away from their chest. Something was definitely wrong, as Zer0’s voice came out quite low and breathy, which their voice modulator keenly picked up on and broadcasted to the table, betraying their normally stoic and emotionless haiku.

Once again, the table roared with laughter, Axton taking the opportunity to exaggeratedly glance under the table at Zer0’s crotch, as if insinuating Zer0 cared even the slightest about whoever these fools were obsessing over, and was invested enough to be aroused by a simple conversation. 

With that simple gesture, Axton caused Krieg to break into a fit of Psycho Talk, and to Zer0’s utter horror and aggravation, the rest of the table to start pestering them, yet again about their junk.

“I mean, Zer0, were you...your friends we wont tell… AnyOnE!” Maya scream-whispered while Gaige tried a completely different tactic of grabbing the zipper of Zer0’s suit and attempting to undress the alien right then and there at the table. 

Zer0 ripped back away from Gaige and fell right off of the booth onto their unceremonious rump. With the dignity only a killer assassin could muster after flailing their way onto the filthy floor, Zer0 was up in a flash, eyes blazing behind their visor. Breaking haiku, Zer0 was livid and grabbed Gaige by the collar of her shirt pulling her close to the visor.  
“If you ever, attempt a feat such as that again, Gaige, I will hunt you down and eviscerate you. I will enjoy that hunt. You are only so lucky to be standing here now as I can smell the intoxication on you and the kill would not satisfy me.” Zer0 turned to Maya, “Do not mistake my lack of hostility for friendship”  
Dropping Gaige, Zer0 turned on their heels and stalked out the door, their visor remaining blank.  
Maya, Gaige and Aston stared at each other in disbelief as Krieg screamed about skin pizzas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Once out into the clear air of Sanctuary, Zer0 took a minute to breathe and stare at the star-spotted, night sky above. Zer0 thought to themselves for a moment of a place they could go to get some peace and quiet, and remain undisturbed from the groveling and drunken apologies of the other vault hunters that would surely come if they stayed in the area too long. They settled upon the tall sniper nest above the city, with any luck Mordecai would be so drunk he was unconscious and Zer0 could linger there unnoticed, or he would, in a rare turn of events, be sober and have enough sense to not start a conversation. Maybe Mordecai would even have a wordless sniper duel with Zer0 as they picked off bandits far on the horizon. Zer0 liked Mordecai. Mordecai was quiet, he didn’t pester Zer0 about what was under the suit, and from rumors Zer0 had heard circling, Mordecai likely knew a thing or two about nosy friends and rude strangers asking what is in his pants. Zer0 liked Mordecai. They didn’t have to force interaction with the small man, because he was content to sit in silence and let Zer0 sit silently by, he didn’t bother Zer0 when the alien slept up in the sniper nest and he wasn’t loud. 

Zer0 arrived at the base of the sniper nest and began the tedious climb to the top.

They never would understand the appeal of liquor to the other vault hunters. Maybe they would enjoy the effects of the beverage if it even remotely affected them, or they didn’t have a multi-million dollar bounty on their head and a reputation for killing anyone and anything in, or around, their path. Maybe they would enjoy not having to think for a few hours, but the reputation they had cultivated snuffed out any chance of that, with just about every bandit knowing at least one friend who met their end on Zer0’s blade.

Reaching the top, Zer0 poked their masked head over the top of the railing to see Mordecai’s slouched frame staring through his rifle scope out to the horizon. Zer0 scuffed their boots loudly once in the nest to alert the other of their presence. Mordecai looked up, nodded, scooted over so Zer0 had a place to sit next to the small man, and put his rifle back up to his eye, to line up another impossibly long shot. So Mordecai was sober, Zer0 thought, and sat down, slinging their own rifle off of their back and into the crook of their arm to line up that shot first.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours had passed of Mordecai and Zer0 sitting in comfortable silence taking shot after shot and skags and psychos out on the distant desert, when Mordecai spoke up.

“Zer0, bud, I know you’re not the talking type, but is somethin’ goin’ on? you seem, angry, which really isn’t like you. You tend to seem pretty indifferent when shit happens, you know?”

Zer0 sighed, silence broken. The gangly alien decided to answer Mordecai, where many times before they would simply ignore whatever comments or questions the small man had. Maybe it was the exhaustion seeping into every bone of Zer0’s body, or maybe it was the strange feeling of sickness that had begun to weigh on Zer0’s chest since they joined their annoying vault-hunter comrades at that shitty bar. Whatever it was, Zer0 broke their silence and answered in quiet haiku.

“I am quite fine, do; not worry yourself with such; trivial matters.”

Mordecai snorted, taken aback by the fact that he even got a response from his, generally silent, alien companion. The answer was short, spoken in haiku, and revealed nothing, but there was a quiet rasp to Zer0’s voice that betrayed any attempt to appear impervious to emotional damage.

“Ok if you say so,” Mordecai relented, “But if you need to get something off of that scrawny chest of yours, I’m sober and I’m all ears.”

For a brief moment, Zer0 chuckled, imagining Mordecai as, in fact, a pile of nothing but ears. The thought was funny enough that the quiet laughter was broadcast through their voice modulator, causing Mordecai to nervously chuckle in response.

“I had imagined; that you, in fact, were just a; pile of only ears” Zer0 spoke softly. Breaking their haiku for the second time tonight, “It was funny”.

Mordecai smiled, “See you’re not so emotionless as they seem to say!” 

Zero projected ;D

Mordecai turned back to the horizon, “Hey, all jokes aside, my offer still stands, ya know?” 

Zero projected a smile :) , the red light fading after a few seconds and leaving the pair in darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the bar Maya and Gaige hadn’t spoken a word since Zer0’s little outburst. Moxxi had kindly brought the group water to sober up with, which three of the vault hunters stared down at, ashamed. Gaige was the first to speak up.

“Maybe we should find them, I need to apologize… ugh ! I feel so bad!....Stupid, stupid alcohol…” she trailed off mumbling to herself.

“Honestly we should sober up *hic* first,” Maya spoke softly, “If I know Zer0, they are probably pretty upset and maybe it's best to let them cool off first.” Maya wasn’t sure if this was the reason she suggested waiting to apologize, or if she wanted to give Zer0 some time alone to lessen the chance of them going on a murderous rampage and fulfilling their threat to Gaige.

“Also, I don’t think Zer0 is the kind of person...or alien… to really be fond of half hearted drunken apologies. I mean, we really, really, really overstepped this time, it might be good to...ugh… wait until we can really apologize, you know?” Maya continued.

Krieg looked unimpressed, having had nothing to do with his teammates' pervy obsession with Zer0’s genitalia. 

“OK, then it’s decided,” Axton stammered, “we wait until tomorrow”

Maybe they would die in their sleep, either from embarrassment and dread for their upcoming apology, or by the silent stroke of Zer0’s blade. No, Zer0 killed for fun, pleasure and whatever other perverse reasons the alien obsessed over death about, they certainly would waste the chance to gut three vault hunters by slicing their throats while they drunkenly slept. No, if retribution was coming, there was no telling when the hunter would strike. None of the three vault hunters said anything as they stumbled back to their quarters, hoping that Zer0 was kidding about that last bit of their threat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things may not be as good for Zer0 as they think. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote it in one shot, and its late here so there might be typos. This is a little longer than chapter 1 so i hope you enjoy it. Maybe as the story picks up into more plot and less introduction, the chapters will get longer. I will try to keep this fic going, and I promise I will try my best to update within reasonable time! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy <3

The night dragged on and eventually Mordecai, who was not as immune to the pull of sleep as Zer0, grew drowsy enough that the sharpshooting competition was pointless. Instead the lithe man sat comfortably next to Zer0 and watched in admiration as the alien continued to kill bandit after bandit. Eventually Mordecai fell asleep, losing the battle against his tired body. Zer0 didn’t notice at first but when Mordecai’s head slumped forward suddenly, as if he were dead, Zer0 turned to acknowledge the state that his companion was in.   
Zer0 decided that they might as well call it a night too. There really was no reason for them to stay awake all night, peering eagerly through the scope of their rifle for the opportunity to snipe some unlucky marauder who had stepped outside to take a leak. Sanctuary had guards, and unlike in their vault opening days, travelling with the rest of the group, Zer0 didn’t need to push themselves to the limit, constantly surveilling, constantly looking over their shoulder, and staying up for weeks at a time to prevent an ambush, while their human teammates slept.   
With the only other person within earshot completely asleep, Zer0 fell out of their haiku format, muttering to themselves about the events of the day.  
“Oh Mordecai, look at you. How fortunate I am to not require that which your feeble, mortal body would be useless without. Sleep. What an odd phenomenon.” Zer0 prattled on at the sleeping frame of his sniper pal.  
“You sleep all night, sometimes during the day. How boring.” Zer0 scoffed, “I would much rather be pursuing a kill.”  
Zer0 shifted their rifle onto their back and picked up Mordecai's discarded gun, slinging it over their other shoulder.  
“I do believe that Maya told me humans sleep for fun. How enjoyable is your blank slumber, my friend? I would much rather be wading through the blood of my kill than the murky waters of a dream.” Zer0 trailed off. They didn’t dream often, and when they did it was never a pleasant feeling. For Zer0, dreaming felt as if they were waking, their head filled with memories that were not their own.   
“C’mon Mordecai, I will take you back to your quarters. It is a nasty fall if you are not careful.”  
Zer0 shook the other sniper awake, projecting a bright :P at Mordecai as he cracked his eyes open.   
“Wha-Zer0? Ugh, wait, where- cool it with the high beams” Mordecai complained.  
“Time to go” Zer0 dimmed their helmet display, flashing an apologetic :’( which Mordecai seemed to find hilarious. With a loud sigh and an exaggerated stretch, Mordecai stumbled to his feet, and began the climb down the tall, shitty ladder that led up to the sniper nest.   
Zer0 counted to 20 in their head, then followed. Once at the ground Zer0 walked the yawning and babbling Mordecai to his and Brick’s quarters. While Mordecai was a lethal killer, and more than capable of taking care of himself, it was also the middle of the night, thieves and other hunters lurked in the dark parts of the city, and if tragedy befell any of Zer0’s friends, they certainly hoped it wouldn’t be Mordecai. By the time the pair reached the door to the two men's’ quarters, Mordecai was slumped into Zer0’s side, dead weight, probably asleep. Zer0 held the small man up, and rapped loudly on the metal door.  
A few moments later the door opened to the absolute mountain of a man, Brick, standing there in what appeared to be pajamas.   
Zer0 didn’t speak, just pushed their friend into Brick’s arms and turned around to find whatever hidey hole they could, to curl up in and get some rest. Zer0 made it about 2 steps before a hand reached out and spun the thin alien back around.  
“What’s got you two out so late?” Brick asked, apparently curious as to why his partner was out at 3am with the galaxy’s most deadly killer. Zer0 rolled their eyes behind their mask, but before they could answer, Brick continued.   
“He’s not drunk right, he promised he wouldn’t drink” Brick seemed to be kind of worked up, Zer0 opened their mouth to speak- “Wait did you- he didn't have a bounty right- was- was he a target? Zer0 is something wrong with him, he’s not dead right?” Brick’s words were jumbled, panic driven and, like always, sure that Zer0 had gone off the rails and slaughtered a friend in the name of the hunt.  
Zer0 huffed. “If you would relax; you could clearly see that he; is completely fine.” Zer0 was tired, impatient, and this interaction was reaching their last nerve.  
“He is tired, but he; breaths and his heart pumps fresh blood; it is late, good bye” Zer0 attempted to dismiss themselves, only to be stopped again by Brick’s worried stammering.  
“Listen I’m sorry Zer0, I, I didn’t mean to insult you, it's just- well- you know? You’ve got quite the reputation and I- well we- would hate to end up on your bad side, so if any of us ever, like, offend you, oh shit that is what I’m doin’ now, sorry Zer0 I -”  
“Enough” Zer0 stopped the flood of words and apologies, growing tired of the incessant apologizing and groveling.  
“Mordecai is my; friend, I would not hunt him, it; would not bring pleasure” Zer0 explained, and again exclaimed, “good night.” before turning on their heels and stalking off into the darkness. Brick looked at Mordecai and out into the dark alleyway where the alien had slinked off to. For some reason the haiku had not calmed his worries that one day they might fall victim to the alien’s sadistic love of the hunt. Brick looked down at the now softly snoring man in his arms; maybe Mordecai was cute enough that Zer0 would spare him from any bloodthirsty rampage they may go on. Brick shut the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zer0 stalked through town, doubling back and cloaking, projecting their holograph and skipping between buildings and over roofs. Sleeping was not something the alien did often, and whenever they did sleep, it was generally back at the headquarters where the rest of the vault hunters would be. Tonight, however, the last thing Zer0 wanted to do was see Maya, Gaige, or Axton, so they scoured the city for a secluded place that they could cram all their gangly limbs into, and sleep for a few hours. Sanctuary was crowded, so it took Zer0 the better part of an hour to traverse the city, back and forth, to make sure they had thrown off anyone who might follow. Finally they snuck down a small, dark alleyway, where the impromptu street lamp had been shot out by well placed sniper fire, weeks ago.   
The alley was filled with trash, gun parts, and slats of wood and metal, which a certain alien had been secretly collecting and depositing here. It was safer if they crawled into a makeshift space that looked more like a garbage pile than a hideout. Zer0 stretched languidly, before stashing their rifle under some trash, and wedging their long body under a makeshift wooden box surrounded by paper and pieces of torn up building materials.   
Once remotely comfortable, (that was the best it was going to get), Zer0 turned off their emoticon display, to prevent the red ZZZ’s from illuminating their hiding spot, and closed their eyes, drifting off into dreamless sleep for the first time in 2 weeks.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A hand came down on the shoulder of a sleeping body. The owner of said body jumped violently, only to greatly regret having moved, and having to run to the toilet to vomit up a considerable amount of alcohol. Once she had her bearing on reality, Maya rinsed her mouth, cleaned up her mess, and stumbled back into the barracks of their “headquarters”. As she exited the bathroom, she was met with a very displeased Lilith.   
“Maya, seriously, we has a job to do today, now you, Gaige Axton and even fucking Zer0 are either in NO condition to fight or NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!” Lilith waved her hands as she spoke, her voice getting louder with each word.  
“Seriously Maya, we are supposed to be a team, not every man, woman, or alien for themselves!” She griped, frustrated by the negligence of her teammates last night. Maya understood, and tried to look as sorry as she could muster as the memories of last night flooded her brain. Oof. One particular memory stung quite a bit more than the others. Wait, had Lilith said Zer0 wasn’t around? That wasn’t like them. While they were secretive about their actions, they distrusted strangers and the outside world much more than any distrust they may have harbored toward their friends. Oh right, Zer0 said they weren’t friends. Either way, Maya felt odd about it this time. Zer0 disappearing was one thing, but Zer0 disappearing after a massive moment of humiliation and anger? That probably didn't bode well…  
“Maya!” Lilith yelled, snapping Maya out of her thoughts. “Are you going to answer me? What. Happened. Last. Night? And where is Zer0 they never miss the opportunity to get absolutely soaked in bandit blood?” Lilith asked, her tone lightening as she mentioned Zer0’s love of needless gore.  
“Listen Lilith, I, ugh, I don't really know how to put this… but things with Zer0 weren’t that great yesterday… they kinda… no, no, we kinda… uh crossed some boundaries while really really drunk and Zer0 stormed off.” Maya explained, flinching prematurely to prepare for the rage Lilith would undoubtedly unleash on her.  
“What kind of boundaries Maya? Oh please tell me you guys didn’t… Did you hassle them about the suit again? Ugh I guess I’m going to need to lecture the three of you again…” Lilith shook her head.  
“Well, it was kind of… worse than just the teasing… listen, I was really drunk, I just asked what was under the suit, but Gaige… well… I should have stopped her, ugh I’m so sorry Zer0-”  
“Spit. It. Out. Maya” Lilith warned. “What did Gaige do?”  
“It really wasn’t all her fault, I brought it up, Gaige was drunk and she’s a lot younger-”  
“Maya, Now.” Lilith barked  
“Fine, fine, sorry,” Maya stammered, “Gaige unzipped Zer0’s suit a little…” Maya whispered.

A beat of silence passed, and Maya didn’t dare raise her head from where she was staring at the floor. Suddenly, in a quick motion, Lilith smacked Maya, to which the blue haired siren cowered further. While Maya didn’t appreciate the hit, and knew Lilith would apologize later, part of her felt as if maybe she deserved it, or at least taken the hit for Gaige. Lilith was their friend, and she was Zer0’s friend. The alien seemed to linger around Lilith much more than they did Maya and Gaige. In fact, the only person that spent more time with Zer0 than Lilith did was Mordecai. Mordecai never mentioned Zer0 though, Lilith frequently recounted odd little conversations the two would have.  
Part of Maya waited for Lilith to erupt in a screaming fit, but instead Lilith put her hands on Maya’s shoulders gently. Maya met Lilith’s gaze, and Lilith spoke.   
“I’m sorry Maya, I should never have hit you, that was wrong…” Lilith began, “I’m sorry, that’s not what friends do.” Lilith continued while Maya remained silent. “But listen, friends also don’t break the single most important aspect of another friends culture in a drunken attempt to figure out what they’re packing.”  
With that, Maya’s eyes widened. She hadn’t even thought about the cultural aspect of Zer0’s suit, the constant covering up, the mystery identity, the reluctance to reveal anything about their body. The only thing Zer0 had said when the crew would pester them about what pronouns to use, and what their gender was, was a non-committed grunt and their visor display flashing :|   
Maya spoke softly “I need to find Zer0. I need to apologize, to make this right, or at least less… wrong”   
“That's a good plan,” Lilith encouraged her friend, “Let's get the others off their asses and see if we can't track down that elusive alien bastard.”  
Lilith smiled. Deep down she was disappointed in the other vault hunters, it didn’t take much effort to respect the privacy of their alien comrade, regardless if their reasons for constantly wearing their suit were cultural or not. In the end though, Lilith didn’t doubt that Zer0 would come back. If the alien was really so angry to cut ties with the other vault hunters, they would have cut Gaige down where she stood. Zer0 needed some time to themselves, and when they were ready to face the others, they would allow themselves to be found. For now though, Lilith would let Maya, Gaige and Axton exhaust themselves looking for Zer0. Maybe she would even have them run some errands for here while they were feeling remorseful. Zer0 would come back, and the three would be able to make their apologies, and while it may take some time, Zer0 would forgive them, there was no doubt in that.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Halfway across Sanctuary, Zer0 was still asleep, hours later, and hours past the sunrise. Zer0 breathed softly as they continued to sleep in the full daylight. A warning displayed on the inside of their helmet which went unnoticed by the sleeping alien. Their breath came in shallow, and a fitful dream caused them to twitch ever so slightly. Sweat beaded up on their cool skin, and a throbbing pain filled their head. Zer0 continued to sleep. The streets got busy, people travelling to work, to the fast travel station or to the bar. A glass bottle was kicked loudly down the street, shattering not 10 feet from where the still sleeping alien was curled up. Zer0 kept sleeping as the day went by and the sun rose high in the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, feel free to leave any comments! I love to read them!


	3. Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of Zer0 POV, some back story, some creepy Zer0 action. CW: mentions of Zer0 being a predatory MFer so if that bothers you, please read with care. also a little bit of medical stuff, not a lot of gore, just be warned.   
> this is not a Zer0xRoland fic! Zer0 is just a creepy alien, and Roland seems to be so stoic and Roland-y so i have put him in there a bit, I think their personalities that im giving them are kind of opposites so they work. its funny in my head. Also a couple time jumps in this one. if there are not clear or something is confusing let me know in the comments and I'll fix it!as always, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long one. i am so in love with this chapter. I just couldn't stop writing. I love writing Zer0, and I'm really excited to get to do more with their personality. I haven't played borderlands 3, and I've only played borderlands 2 so if stuff isn't cannon, then oh well i guess :) Anyway.... I hope you enjoy!! Like always, comments are appreciated a lot so fell free to leave them:) and I wrote this in one shot in google docs (which has a terrible spell-check) and then immediately published it, so if you see any MAjoR grammar errors let me know :)   
> thanks,  
> click_to_enlarge :) :) :)

It had been hours, and the blazing Pandora sun overhead only made those hours feel like days. Maya, Axton and Gaige had been scouring Sanctuary in search of Zer0 together until about noon, when Maya grew tired of listening to the carefree banter between her teammates and decided to split off and search for Zer0 herself. While Gaige and Axton had received similar lectures from Lilith, and at least had the decency to mutter mournful apologies, the two seemed to have recovered relatively quickly, and Maya was a little frustrated by that. You know what, no, it honestly pissed her off that they could get over it so quickly. Maya hadn’t even been the one to tug on Zer0’s suit, it had been Gaige! And Axton had been all kinds of creepy, with his weird under the table glancing! Maya kicked a discarded bottle that went skittering down a nearby alley and shattered up against some trash pile. She stopped for a minute, glanced down the alley into the trash pit and huffed. There is only so much space in this floating city, why are the citizens so set on keeping trash piles everywhere! She stalked off to check the recent users on the fast travel station. 

Gaige and Axton goofed around for a few hours, repeatedly checking for Zer0 in weird places that to them was the funniest thing imaginable. Once they darted into Moxxi’s to check if Zer0 was drinking away their sorrow, but that ended poorly as they ran head-on into Brick who threw them out on their asses. Naturally, the next place Zer0 might have been hiding was the local “adult store” where they laughed at the various get-ups, imagining their alien buddy in tiny skirts or maid outfits. Apparently the shopkeeper, a sultry young woman, grew tired of their antics and grabbed Gaige by the hair and Axton by the ear and, once again, kicked them right out onto the curb. After that, the funny mood died a bit.

“I mean he- they, whatever,  _ Zer0 _ couldn’t have gone too far… right?” Axton asked, elbowing Gaige in the ribs. “I mean they are  _ The Most Formidable Alien Assassin the Galaxy has ever known  _ blah, blah blah, even if they did run off, what are then chances that the measly bandits in this area would pose any kind of threat?” Axton rambled.

“Yea, I guess,” Gaige spoke a bit quieter, “I mean… I really just want to apologize more than anything,” she started. “Zer0’s tough, yea we all know, but… I just think… I’ve never seen them that upset and I just can’t help but think there might be something else going on, y’know?” 

Axton nodded, “They did seem off, I guess… normally they don’t really care about  _ stuff _ .” 

“And even if they did,” Gaige interrupted, “Bandit lords have said A LOT worse and Zer0 pretty much laughs it off, and then y’know…  Decapitates t hem… ” Gaige trailed off, kicking the toe of her shoe into the dirt. 

The two stood there for a few minutes, both avoiding the others’ gaze. The street continued bustling around them, and the day stretched on. Some adventurous bird-things circled above, and in the distance a bandit or skag or other creature fell to sniper fire, coming from the sniper nest above the town. 

Gaige looked up. That had to be Mordecai up there, right? I mean, it wouldn’t be that easy to find their wayward alien, would it? Sure enough, Talon circled the sniper nest a few times then landed next to the hunched figure, who took another shot out to the desolate landscape below. 

As if he were reading her mind, Axton spoke up, “We could always ask Mordecai, I think Zer0 likes him. He might know what happened to Zer0, or at least have a lead.”

Sighing, “It's worth a shot…” Gaige began walking over to the base of the formidable ladder leading to the nest. As if punctuating her sentence, another shot rang out overhead, and somewhere, another bandit fell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having double the brain cells of both Axton and Gaige combined, Maya had thought to talk to Mordecai hours before the others finally decided to scale the sniper nest. Mordecai was happy to answer any questions Maya had, but when Gaige and Axton poked their heads over the rim, all they got was an angry bird in their face, and by that I mean Talon squawking and pecking as well as a rude gesture from the small man, who never did so much as to look up from the scope on his rifle.

When Maya had been up there earlier, Mordecai had offered as much information as he had, and honestly, that hadn’t been much.

~~~~~~time jump~~~~~~~~

“Hey Mordecai” Maya began, then continued with the dreaded phrase, “Can we talk?”

Mordecai lowered his rifle and spun around. He had heard from Lilith what had gone down last night, and was disappointed with his fellow vault hunters. He had prepared to have to lecture the blue-haired siren, but the remorse on her face was enough to convince him that  _ maybe _ she had learned her lesson. 

“Yea sure, what’s up?” he asked, knowing full well what was up. Might as well let her explain the situation and see if she tells the same story Lilith did. 

“Did, um, did you hear about what happened with Zer0?” she asked, much quieter than her usual loud and proud self. 

“Uh, yea, I guess,” Mordecai rasped, raising his arm for Talon land, “The long-legged freak is still missing, I assume?” The jab was there, but more than anything, it was an attempt at lightening the mood. And between him and Zer0, the nickname ‘long legs’ had been an inside joke. One that frequently resulted in Zer0 either towering over Mordecai, who was by no means short, and harassing him by holding his rifle just out of reach, or all together picking up the shorter sniper and depositing him in the nearest trash pile, or anywhere else that would be funny. 

Maya cleared her throat, “Uh yea, nobody has found any trace of them all morning, it's just… not like Zer0 to just run off and leave things… unresolved” Maya was obviously upset, and probably worried about the safety of their alien buddy. Mordecai interrupted, before she could spiral anymore down the thoughts of all the gruesome fates Zer0 could have met. 

“Listen, Maya,” He sighed, “I know Zer0 can be… tricky to understand, and they have a tendency to be super unreadable and undaunted, but you know they are the most badass creature and vault hunter to ever exist, and the second best sniper… soooooo, they are probably fine, and probably watching you right now.” Mordecai wasn't a huge fan of feelings, sue him! So, yeah,  _ naturally,  _ he tried to lighten the mood. Ultimately his humor fell on deaf ears and Maya plopped down on the floor of the sniper nest and put her head on her knees. After a few seconds of staring at the siren, not knowing what to do, Maya spoke.

“I know Zer0 is all kinds of awesome, and they are super badass and super cool and all, but I... ,” she hesitated, “I just need to know that they’re OK,” she sniffled, “a-and not like are they  _ physically _ OK, because I know that they can pretty much survive anything, but I… I really hurt their feelings, like a lot, I think… and I need, I need to know that they are OK and I need to apologize. I was a bad friend” She dropped her head back to her knees.

Mordecai stood there, ultimately shocked by the vulnerability that Maya was showing. Slowly, he started.

“You know Zer0 is your friend, right? Zer0 really does admire you and respect you Maya,” Mordecai kneeled so he was at her height, “Believe me, they told me themselves.” 

Maya let out a quiet chuckle

“Seriously Maya, I know they can be quiet and reserved all the damn time,” Mordecai began to chuckle, recounting this particular tale of Zer0’s antics, “A couple weeks ago, Zer0 got into some sort of mushroom, I think, and they were tripping balls, Maya, you should have seen it. I could not get them to shut up for hours!” Mordecai smiled at the young woman. 

Maya lifted her head, her face was streaked with tears. A small grin showed that Mordecai’s approach was working! Maya’s voice was choked from the tears and the forming laughter, “Really?” she sniffled, “Zer0 got into… mushrooms?” The smile on her face grew, and she wiped her eyes.

“Yesss indeed,” Mordecai shook his head, “I’m telling you Maya, I learned some things that day that I would rather not repeat” 

A loud laugh escaped Maya’s lips, and she wiped her nose on her sleeve

“One thing though, Zer0 would not shut up about how cool they thought you were, how much they thought you were the ultimate badass siren. Zer0 said, and I quote ‘ _ she’s so cool, Mordy, if she wasn’t so, distracted all the fuckin’ time, and staring at Moxxi’s tits, she might even stand a chance against me.’  _ They fell down the stairs right after that, but you get the gist,” Mordecai put his hand on Maya’s shoulder, “They love you Maya. You are one of their best friends, and they're not gonna just run off, they’ll be back… they always come back.” Mordecai stood up. 

“If you are so set on finding them, though,” Mordecai offered his hand to pull Maya up, “Pretend you are looking for a cat, or a raccoon. That bastard is probably huddled in some tiny crevice or under a bed or something.” 

Maya chuckled and wiped the remaining tears off her face. At least she had an idea of where Zer0 could possibly be. She nodded at Mordecai, “Thanks Mordecai… for everything.” When he returned her nod and turned back around, Maya hopped over the edge and climbed the ladder back down to the ground. She was going to find Zer0, if it took all day.

Mordecai watched her march off between buildings. Turning to Talon who sat on the edge of the nest preening, Mordecai muttered, “I really hope they show up soon.” and began sniping unsuspecting bandits off in the distance again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I was nearing late afternoon when finally a blaring alarm went off inside their helmet, alerting them that their fluid level was dangerously low and they would be approaching dehydration soon. The alarm was enough to startle the shaky alien out of their fitful sleep and caused them to lash out and knock over a decent amount of garbage. When they finally looked up to get their bearings, an old man was standing feet away looking like he had seen a ghost. Well, he had seen the next closest thing, a gangly, alien, vault hunter flailing around in a pile of trash. Zer0 froze and stared back at the old man for a few long seconds before standing up, brushing themselves off in a quick and controlled manner, picking up their rifle and stalking off. 

Once around the corner, Zer0 began scrolling through the various alerts on the HUD of their visor. 

Alarm 1

Alarm 2

Warning 443: B0dy Temperature Rising

Alarm 3

Warning 270: Disturbance Detected, Pr0ceed with Cauti0n

Alarm 4

Warning 153: B0dy Temperature Reaching Danger0us Level

Warning 006: Seek Medical Attention

Warning 042: Appr0ching Dehydrati0n

Zer0 huffed, with their headache still bothering them, and an unpleasant, warm feeling in their stomach, they staked off toward the vault hunter headquarters. Maybe they had thrown the other vault hunters off enough that they would all be out searching for them, and nobody would be home. Zer0 just needed some privacy, some water and something to eat. They were fine. They had to be fine. 

It took longer to reach headquarters than it should have. Zer0 had to duck into alleyways multiple times as their breath grew ragged and their head spun. They just needed water. Some water and a bit of food would make everything right. It had to. Zer0 had to be honest with themselves that they had been neglecting their body’s needs for the last few weeks. Never having a free moment, both off the battlefield and away from their teammates, had taken a toll on Zer0’s ability to feed themselves and indulge in good, uninterrupted sleep. It wasn’t that they didn't trust their teammates. It was just… their teammates were human and had the unfortunate side effect of being human, curiosity. Zer0 was generally unaffected by their playful banter, but their temper had been short last night, and they hadn’t slept properly or eaten in at least 2 weeks. Zer0 was running on fumes, and could feel they were close to crashing. If the raging headache and the dizziness wasn’t a clear enough indication of the state the alien was in, there was another painfully obvious indication that Zer0 was not healthy.

A week ago they had gotten into a scuffle with a few bandits, when the alien was underneath their Outrunner, searching for a pesky fuel leak. Zer0 had been engrossed in what they were doing and didn’t notice the bandits, or maybe they were amateur bounty hunters, sneaking up on them. They were only alerted of the bounty hunters’ presence when they were yanked out from under the vehicle by their ankles. The moment of shock was short-lived and Zer0 dispatched the four hunters with ease. Well, not before receiving a nasty cut across their side, from one of the hunters’ blades. It stung, and Zer0 should have attended to it right then and there, but as per usual, the assassin ignored it and continued working on the fuel leak. Zer0 really only meant to postpone cleaning and stitching the wound for a few hours, but just as they were scooting out from under their Outrunner, their vault hunter friends had shown up and a couple hours turned into the rest of the night. When everyone had gone to bed, Zer0 finally decided to clean up the angry cut on their side. Unfortunately, in order to get to it Zer0 would need to take their suit off, from the waist up. Well, maybe Zer0 would have had time to do this, but there really was nowhere private in headquarters, and everytime Zer0 began unfastening their suit, one of their teammates would twitch or shift in their sleep and Zer0 would zip the suit back up and sit there fretting for 20 minutes, only to have the whole cycle repeat when they gained enough courage to try again. So a couple hours turned into a couple days. 

Zer0 continued their trek to headquarters, the cut was still angry, likely infected, and still mostly unattended. As they passed a vending machine, Zer0 briefly considered grabbing an Insta-health, but remembered the last time they injected themselves with the wretched substance and trotted away shaking their head.

~~~~~~~~~~time jump~~~~~~~~~~

Zer0 really shouldn’t have been hit. The bandit was running away, Zer0 was closing in on the kill, terrifying haiku forming on their “lips” and the scared bandit wasn’t even aiming anymore. The raider or marauder, or whatever other bullshit nickname these lowlifes gave themselves, was flailing the pistol behind himself in a last ditch attempt to save his hide. Zer0’s blade had been drawn, they pounced, a shot rang out as Zer0’s katana freed the bandit's miserable head from his body. They didn’t feel it at first, but their HUD immediately alerted them that they had been hit, and it was not looking good. 

Zer0 had never been killed, they weren’t set up in the respawn system and frankly, they didn’t trust the whole thing, so when Zer0 looked down to see black liquid leaking sluggishly out of their belly, soaking the front of their suit, Zer0 was confused and surprised how odd the whole experience was. It didn’t hurt, but Zer0 could feel something wasn’t right. Their HUD was panicking, and their body felt shivery. They poked at their blood with indifference and a sort of morbid curiosity, and only when Lilith came running up to them, registered that they had dropped their katana.

Zer0 was ultimately fascinated. Death fascinated them, and this was certainly the most deadly of injuries they had ever received. Zer0 hardly noticed the group of frantic vault hunters around them, as they lazily drew a long finger through the blood, wishing that they had just enough privacy to lift their visor and taste it. That would not go over well with an audience though. Zer0’s teammates knew of Zer0’s affinity for death, and if they knew of Zer0’s habit of tasting the blood of their victims, their friends may just never speak to them again. Zer0 was a predator, they told themself, it was only natural. 

Zer0 really only understood what was happening around them when they found themselves slumped up against the wheel of an Outrunner, with Lilith gripping either side of Zer0’s visor and desperately calling to the alien to answer. Zer0 couldn’t speak, and instead moved their quickly weakening arm up to dip into the blood again, which caused a chorus of loud reactions from the other vault hunters. Zer0 finally felt pain in the form of a needle of an Insta-Health being jammed into their belly above the wound. The wound began to heal rapidly, causing Zer0 to squirm and their chest to heave as they suffered through the agony of their abdomen stitching itself back together in record speed. Once the wound was closed and Zer0 could think, they struggled to their feet and covered the hole in their suit with their hand. Zer0 was once again thankful for the thick, opaque, black blood, and its uncanny ability to hide any skin that might have been shown while Zer0 was incapacitated. The others had swarmed Zer0 asking again and again if they were OK. Zer0 had projected :] and then hopped in the back of the Outrunner, which Roland had driven back to HQ. 

Zer0 had made it back to HQ without signaling to the others that something was terribly wrong. Once back, however, Zer0 had all but raced to the nearest fast travel, travelled to a random location, rented a room in a random motel, barricaded the door, and stripped off their suit. In a few long strides Zer0 dashed into the bathroom, ripped off their helmet and spent the next 36 hours, huddled in front of the toilet vomiting up anything they had eaten in what felt like the last month. Zer0’s cool skin felt clammy and sensitive, and their head had throbbed for three days after the incident. They ended up having to slaughter the motel keeper as the stupid man had dismantled Zer0’s barricade, and barged into the room demanding Zer0 check out. Zer0 had just enough time to pull on their helmet, however the man got an eyeful of the emaciated, blood-soaked torso that belonged to the alien assassin. Oh well. Zer0 stopped by the register on their way out and took their money back. Free trip. 

~~~~~~~~~~back to present~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  


Finally back at headquarters, it seemed as if Zer0 finally got lucky, and not one person was in the building. Zer0 let out a huff of relief and staggered up the stairs to their bunk. There, they dropped their weapons on the foot locker at the end of the bed, and began to tug at the fasteners on their boots. Zer0 dug around in their locker next to the bunks, and pulled out a tube of antibacterial salve, a long-sleeve turtleneck, some sweatpants, and another pair of gloves. Their suit wasn’t uncomfortable, it just smelled like infection and trash. Plus, if someone showed up, Zer0 could always still cloak even without the whole suit on. Shuffling to the bathroom, Zer0 did one last scan with their visor and confirmed that nobody was in the building, or lingering around the building. They really weren’t in any danger, as they had been working together with Mordecai in order to constantly pepper the surrounding bandit camps with deadly accurate sniper fire almost 24/7. Stepping into the bathroom, Zer0 breathed a sigh of relief, and dimmed the lights so they could remove their helmet. The helmet made a loud thunk as Zer0 set it down on the counter, and when the alien looked into their reflection they could definitely tell that they were pushing themselves to a dangerous limit. There was a clean cloth nearby, which Zer0 grabbed and ran under warm water. Wringing most of the water out, Zer0 scrubbed at their face, cleaning residue of sweat and grime off of their “skin”. Next, Zer0 unzipped their suit and shrugged it off of their shoulders. The suit pooled around Zer0’s thin hips. Underneath the suit, Zer0 wore a skintight shirt, which they pulled over their head. The shirt was torn, where the blade had cut them, and the edges were crusted to the edges of the wound. Zer0 winced. 

Taking the same wet cloth, Zer0 cleaned the black blood away from the wound, and pressed careful fingertips to the skin around the gash. Sure enough, it was infected, as the normally cool skin was warm to the touch. With the cut cleaned, Zer0 applied the salve and slapped a bandage on it. A shiver wracked the thin frame, and Zer0 pulled on the turtleneck in response. Next, Zer0 kicked off their boots and the pants of their suit, followed by the “leggings” that Zer0 wore under them. Zer0 yanked on a pair of boxers that they had stolen from Roland, and pulled on the sweatpants, tugging the drawstrings tight so under no circumstance would the waistband ride down. And yes, Zer0 was not above petty theft. Roland would never know the pair was gone, and they were comfy! Plus, Zer0 didn’t exactly have the luxury of being able to waltz on down to the underwear store and purchase a pair of their own. Being obviously  _ not human _ , the last thing Zer0 wanted to do was give anyone a clue as to what was down there. Furthermore, being a more evolved creature, Zer0 didn’t really have an issue of genitalia needing particular underwear, or any at all for that matter. Zer0’s visor projected 0///0 from where it sat on the counter. And to be clear, Zer0 had stolen the pair from a BRAND NEW PACK, and the only reason Zer0 had stolen from Roland and not literally any other teammate, was because Roland’s locker was next to Zer0’s and Roland had turned his back at an opportune moment. 

Zer0 slipped their boots on, picked up their helmet and headed downstairs to grab food and maybe throw their suit in the wash. 

When they reached the first floor, nobody was around, so Zer0 meandered over to the kitchen and began rooting around through the cabinets to find literally anything that would sate their hunger. Zer0 was growing impatient and stretched up to reach a mysterious package on top of the cabinets when a surge of heat coursed through their body, causing them to drop to the ground. Zer0’s HUD did not display any warning, yet the alien remained on their knees shuddering as the feeling coursed through them. When Zer0 was finally able to stand, they got up on shaky legs, and opened up the refrigerator, grabbing some weird looking egg thing. 

Zer0 was by no means a chef. The alien didn’t need to eat as much as their human counterparts, thanks again to their slow metabolism, and Zer0 was never too fond of eating, often forcing themselves to go days on an empty stomach to see just how far they could push themselves and still cut down anything in their path. If Zer0 were to stand next to another of their species, they would look like a half starved weakling, yet years of training their body to perform while under extreme stress had made them able to continue being a killing machine, even when they were emaciated and exhausted. The lack of a need to eat, as well as the lack of desire to eat had really pushed learning to cook to the last of Zer0’s priorities. Regardless, Zer0 had watched Lilith and Roland cook up these weird eggs enough times that they could recreate it, right?

Not right. Wrong. Big mistake. Copying a kill, a shot, a motion with a blade, now that was easy, that was instinctual, that was natural, that made sense. Why this egg was sticking to the pan and why it was still watery in some places while smoking and black in others was not instinctual, was not natural and DID NOT MAKE SENSE. 

“Stupid fucking egg; I should hunt and kill your parent; filthy nasty egg” the assassin huffed before turning the stove off and abandoning the mess of an egg to whichever unfortunate soul would use the kitchen next. 

That is when Zer0 spied it. They thought they remembered someone mentioning something about Axton buying a hunk of some supposedly delicious meat. His plans were to cook it, and in Zer0’s more primal opinion, ruin it. And there it was, unguarded, unsupervised and alone. Sitting wrapped up in butcher paper on the kitchenette counter. All alone. No one to protect it.

Breaking haiku, Zer0 analyzed the situation. “Now that is no place to leave a pretty thing like you…” the alien drawled, sauntering over to the meat. “Unguarded… unsupervised… and left out in front of a predator like myself…” Zer0 purred. “Axton,” Zer0 chuckled and continued, as if addressing the blond man, “You silly thing… leaving this out where anyone…  _ anything _ could find it…” Zer0 was making a show out of this, but hey, it wasn’t everyday that they got to indulge in their more… predatory tendencies. Zer0 continued to slowly stalk up to the chunk. “Tsk Tsk Tsk Axton, you fool… I’m almost glad for your childish behavior yesterday, for you unknowingly created such an  _ opportunity _ …” 

OK  _ maybe _ Zer0 was indulging a little too much, maybe they were taking this a little too far. But fitting in with the humans was difficult. Zer0 often had a hard time suppressing the urge to do unsettling things that their friends would freak out about. The urge to hunt, to truly hunt was always lingering at the back of the alien’s mind, and this might help sooth that urge… even though the chunk of meat wasn't going to fight back. What a shame.

Zer0 growled as they closed the last few feet between them and the chunk. A long finger stretched out and trailed down the meat, Zer0 shuddered. Heat flickered in their belly, distracting them from their little game, much to Zer0’s dismay. Gipping the edge of the counter, Zer0 rode out the shudders until they could focus again. 

Behind the visor, predatory eyes honed in on the prey and Zer0 let their mouth drop open and a deft tongue traced up and over sharp teeth. Yes, this would be very much worth the humiliation from last night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Roland who ended up finding Zer0, splayed out on their back on the sofa in HQ, looking about as smug as the cat that got the canary and about as full as could be. Their generally sunken stomach forming a cute little bump under the turtleneck sweater that they were wearing for some reason. 

“There you are” Roland spoke, his smile and relief evident in his voice, with a hint of suspicion that only grew upon Zer0’s reply.

“Here I am” Zer0 spoke, words managing to sound even more smug than the creature looked. 

“Where have you been, Zer0? The rest of the team have been searching high and low for you.” Roland exclaimed, honestly still shocked that the place where Zer0 would be found would be HQ, and not in some sketchy alleyway or cutting down bandits with a startling ferocity.

Zer0 stretched languidly, still belly up on the sofa. For a brief moment, Zer0’s sweater began to ride up, but before any skin was shown, Zer0 pulled the garment back down. 

“I was sleeping,” Zer0 answered plainly, not in haiku, “then,” Roland could hear the devilish grin growing in Zer0’s voice. It was unsettling, Zer0 never acted like this. What was going on? Who replaced their silent, terrifying alien with this sly, sinister creature? Everything about Zer0 screamed predator. Everything about the alien stretched out in front of Roland screamed that Zer0 was spring loaded and ready to pounce. Roland was happy to see his friend, unharmed and in one piece, but holy hell, Zer0 was being creepy as fuck.

“Then, Roland,” Zer0 practically purred, “I was hunting.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I'll try to post the next part soon! I love to read your comments so if you want drop some words down below :) :) :)


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